As I think about how my 2020 went, I see a lot of chaos of being a homeschool parent. Something I've tried in the past but had the option to change my mind. I see (and feel) a lot of frustration and tears over the hundred extra steps that kids have to take to learn math now. I see a lot of arguing about absolutely nothing. I see a bunch of waiting. I see people getting used to staying at home instead of fellowshipping in church. I see people withdrawing more and depression. I see panic, paranoia, and anger about the things the world is facing. I see Revelation playing out right before my eyes. I see a lot of loss.
I also see a lot of growth. Not just in me but in my family, my friends and among the nation. I see my brothers and sisters in Christ finding ways to fellowship when we couldn't do it the way we were accustomed to. I see people finding creative ways to spend time together. I have seen generosity all year that usually only comes out at Christmas time. I see people caring more about others needs than their wants. I see my children growing right before my very eyes. In the blink of an eye, they've gotten older, taller and a wee little bit wiser. I see their relationship with their dad getting stronger, as well as my relationship with him. I see a lot of gratefulness and thankfulness.
As the Christmas season approached us and quickly passed us by, there were times where I wanted things to hurry and there were times I wanted time to slow down. I read a devotion last week, titled, "Moving at the speed of Jesus". It really spoke to my heart because I've learned a lot about His speed over the last 2 years. It's slow but it's right on time!
It's like watching a pot of water boil. If you just sit there waiting for it, it seems to take so much longer but if you walk away with faith that it's going to do its job, you tend to think, "that was quick". Or, if you're running late, you anticipate that you are going to hit every red light to your destination and then you do. You end up frustrated and feeling like everyone else is in YOUR way. Then you make it to your destination with a few minutes to spare. If we impatiently and anxiously wait for the pieces of life to move, it just makes us miserable. We can't allow any joy in. Joy and anxiety don't happen TOGETHER. If you just sit back and watch, you can see all the pieces of the puzzle being put exactly where God wants them. I've learned that I would rather God my puzzle together for me. He does a much better job than I do. I've also learned that I feel better having peace about all the missing pieces. That doesn't mean I don't have moments of worry, anxiety or sadness because that would make me perfect. I am FAR from that! However, I am able to have a meltdown, then remember what God has done for me already and go back to peaceful waiting. Let God put your puzzle together. He does it perfectly and right on time!

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